Nepotism: What It Is, Why It Happens, and What You Can Do About It
Nepotism is one of those words that stirs up strong opinions—especially in the workplace. If you've ever missed out on an opportunity because someone “knew someone,” you already know how frustrating it can feel. But what exactly is nepotism? Why does it happen so often? And what can you actually do about it—especially if you feel stuck because of it?
This blog breaks it all down in plain English. Whether you're someone affected by nepotism or just curious, this guide will help you understand it from all angles.
What Is Nepotism?
Nepotism is when people in power give jobs or opportunities to friends or family—regardless of whether they’re the most qualified. It shows up most often in workplaces, politics, entertainment, and family-run businesses.
Common Examples of Nepotism:
A boss hires their son as a manager even though there were more qualified applicants.
An actor lands a major role largely because their parent is already famous.
A CEO promotes their sibling over other deserving team members.
Is Nepotism Illegal?
Nepotism is not usually illegal, but it can be—especially in government or public-sector roles where laws require fair hiring processes.
In the private sector, companies can often get away with it, unless it crosses into discrimination, favoritism that affects workplace safety, or breaches of contract.
Why Does Nepotism Happen?
There are a few reasons:
Trust: Leaders often trust family or friends more than outsiders.
Loyalty: People believe those close to them won’t “betray” the company.
Convenience: It’s easier to hire someone you already know.
Legacy: In some industries, it’s expected that family members take over.
But while it may feel “normal” in some circles, it often causes tension, demotivation, and resentment in others.
Is Nepotism Always Bad?
Not necessarily. If someone is actually qualified, and the process is transparent, it’s less of an issue. The real problems show up when unqualified people are put into roles where they:
Block growth for others
Don’t perform well
Damage team morale
Even if the intentions are good, the outcome often isn’t.
How Does Nepotism Affect Employees?
If you’ve ever worked in a company where nepotism exists, you might recognize these feelings:
“What’s the point of trying? They already picked their favorite.”
“No matter how hard I work, I’ll never get ahead.”
“I’m not being seen or valued.”
Over time, this erodes confidence, motivation, and trust in leadership.
How to Handle Nepotism in the Workplace
This part’s important—because you can’t control who your boss hires, but you can control how you respond. Here are a few things that help:
1. Focus on Your Zone of Control
Don’t let someone else’s unfair advantage stop you from building yours. Strengthen your skills. Build relationships outside of your direct team. Document your wins.
2. Be Clear About Your Boundaries
If nepotism is affecting your workload, speak up professionally. You’re allowed to say, “I’m noticing some changes in how work is being delegated—I’d like to understand the direction better.”
3. Find Support Outside the System
If you’re feeling shut out or demoralized, talk to a coach or mentor. Sometimes you just need someone objective to help you see your next move.
4. Explore Other Opportunities
If the environment isn't changing and it's hurting your mental health or future prospects, it may be time to move on. Leaving doesn’t mean you failed—it might mean you’re finally putting yourself first.
How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing Nepotism?
Some signs:
Promotions or raises go to family members with less experience or output
Certain people seem “untouchable,” no matter their performance
Feedback and recognition are consistently one-sided
You’re doing more but getting less visibility
If this sounds familiar, you're not imagining it.
Can Coaching Help?
Yes. Coaching won’t fix nepotism—but it can help you stop internalizing it. It can help you:
Rebuild your confidence
Get clarity on what you want next
Take your power back (without losing your cool)
Make peace with what’s unfair so you can move forward, with focus
At Sustainable Life Coach, we work with people who’ve felt stuck, overlooked, or sidelined—whether by nepotism or something else. One-to-one coaching helps you get back into motion, with tools, structure, and support that’s actually useful.
Final Thoughts
Nepotism isn’t just a buzzword. It’s a real experience that leaves real people feeling stuck. But you don’t have to stay stuck.
If this hit home and you’re ready to talk it through, reach out. You don’t need to have the perfect words. Just bring your story—and we’ll figure out what’s next, together.
Need support navigating a tough workplace situation?
Book a free intro call with George from Sustainable Life Coach and see if coaching is a fit for you.